OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
why do cheetos always look like penises
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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