So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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