All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
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