I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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