I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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