a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
