Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
