I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
