im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
