Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Randomize
