He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
