2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
