At least make sure they are 18
Why
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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