Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize