she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
