Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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