hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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