Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
She swung at the pinata with crutches
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
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