hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
