so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
