I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
lol hangovers are for mortals.
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