I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
i love accidental penises.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Randomize
