Porn is love you can see.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
