I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
