Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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