just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
