oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
this is an emotional support booty call
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Randomize
