Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
