bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I have demons in me.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
