I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize