When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Someone shattered a urinal.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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