at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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