if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
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I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
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"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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