Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
