So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
