I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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