He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
