some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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