He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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