There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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