Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize