I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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