This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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