This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
