She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
i've created a new STD.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Randomize
