Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
