Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
