ADVERTISEMENT

• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.

  Fav 4 1104 1662

  share tweet
  

• (805): View more from California

  Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?

  (1-805): View more from California

  Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.

  Fav 27 1120 3116

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (972): View more from Texas

  **i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**

  Fav 58 2105 4589

  share tweet
  

• (618): View more from Illinois

  You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.

  Fav 9 5586 1300

  share tweet
  

• (760): View more from California

  The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation

  Fav 9 2072 1596

  share tweet
  

• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job

  Fav 7 3184 1006

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (845): View more from New York

  Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup

  Fav 6 1272 771

  share tweet
  

• (607): View more from New York

  Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester

  Fav 26 1207 692

  share tweet
  

• (678): View more from Georgia

  Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.

  Fav 1 1405 544

  share tweet
  

• (406): View more from Montana

  You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.

  Fav 13 854 1514

  share tweet
  

• (+61): View more from Australia

  We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime

  Fav 1 746 664

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (417): View more from Missouri

  Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.

  Fav 1 166 118

  share tweet
  

• (716): View more from New York

  lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties

  Fav 3 44 66

  share tweet
  

• (303): View more from Colorado

  Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.

  Fav 0 20 20

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (516): View more from New York

  Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?

  Fav 0 21 40

  share tweet
  

Randomize