Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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