talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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