U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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