I saw his package. It spoke to me.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I can't turn off my feet"
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
