i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
