What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
