im drinking this country out of the recession.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
