her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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